Imagine your son drawing with colors on the home’s walls, or opening the refrigerator door every five minutes, or lying to you when you ask him if he brushed his teeth or not and not staying at one place when you visit your relatives and he makes you embarrassed. Every mother wishes to see her son act polite and to be honest and calm, and to take care of the home and himself, and to listen to the orders. But the raising process is difficult, and before you reach the stage of punishment, you must make sure that he knows that what he is doing wrong. The punishment is part of the raising process, but it is not essential part and it is wrong to be a permanent method to any mother.
Before the punishment comes the explanation and the training.
-Sit with your son and explain to him his mistake. Explain to him why this behavior is wrong, as well as what good behavior is required of him. For example, make sure that he understands that the opening the refrigerator door every five minutes will spoil the foods because foods need constant freezing and that what is required of him is not to open the refrigerator door unless he will take something from it. Repeat the explanation.
-Be calm and talk to him firmly, and show signs of sadness on your face when you talk about foods that will spoil, and show signs of happiness when you explain to him what is specifically required. Don’t yell at him or talk loudly. As, this annoying behavior will make the child get used to it and he will never pay attention to it by the time. And you will be more frustrated and angrier.
-First, make sure that he does not repeat the inappropriate behavior in order to draw attention. Sometimes children do this when he needs to draw the attention of parents to him, and he commits a behavior that he knows fully it is a mistake and annoys his parents so that they pay attention to him. Here, the best treatment is to ignore it. Yes, you should ignore him at this very moment.
The punishment as a last step
Experts say that improper punishment of children does nothing and does not help reduce their inappropriate behavior, just like imprisonment. Therefore, in order not to have to punish your children, you should educate them from an early age on values and empathy, simply “You shouldn’t do to others what you don’t accept for yourself.”
Use the punishment as a last step. You must first warn your son that he will be punished with “such” if he repeats “such”. It is better to warn him and explain. And if he makes a mistake, he must be punished. You must carry out your word and he must know that you are serious. You will lose a lot if your son starts thinking that you are not doing what you say. Therefore, make sure that the punishment that you will decide, you can carry out, do not say to him “I will not take you with me to your grandparents, if you do not finish your food.” Then you discover you must go and cannot leave him alone. Think first of the possibility of carrying out the punishment and do not use threats.
Never hit your child
Stay away from physical punishment, do not slap him on the cheek, or with slippers or with a stick, or even hold him by shoulders and shake him while you shout at him, and do not pinch his ears or hit him on the head. Control your nerves and don’t beat him. Beating is not a punishment, but a sign of your helplessness and haste, and it will harm him a lot. Because of his small size, he cannot defend himself, and that will generate a sense of helplessness, frustration, and surrender. These are negative feelings. You must do the impossible to keep them away from your child’s mental health, so that they do not accompany him in old age. Beating makes your child feel angry, resentful, and aggressive. He will use the beating as a method and learn that it is permissible, and that he can beat another child because he did not like him. He also can not control his nerves exactly as he saw you get mad at him and beat him.
Ideas of punishment
Apart from physical punishment, you can punish your son by depriving him of things he loves or needs, such as he is forbidden to watch his favorite program, or he will only take half of his money for a week. Or you won’t talk to him until the end of the day. Or he will not go with you to visit your neighbor as you have planned.
Reward chart (effective for kids)
When one of your children crosses the boundaries that you set for them, you must take an action. You can use the reward chart as a solution for all ages, but it is most effective for children between three and five years old. The principle is to check a square for every mistake your child might make, such as wetting his bed or harassing a friend at school. When he succeeds in not repeating one of his mistakes, you must check the appropriate square, and with every ten marks, you must give him a prize for his achievement, which will contribute to his appreciation for the positive results of his actions.
Silent time: one minute for each additional mistake.
Keeping him in the room…. Something he will surely forget. For this reason, you should ask him, instead of being imprisoned, to remain silent and to breathe deeply. Aim: positivity, something that can only be achieved through words.
Denial: more effective with teenagers
The agreement is the best way to get along with teenagers… you have to rely on negotiating with kids at this age… make deals with them, something for something. For example, if one of your children misses their homework on time, simply tell them they won’t be able to go out for the day off.
Make your child do the chores
One alternative to punishment is to get the child to do extra work at home, to discipline him without resorting to corporal punishment or raising your voice.
Apology
You have definitely forced your child to say “I am sorry” when he misbehaved, but have you ever thought about the true power of those words? Give your child time to think about his behavior and how it might affect the feelings of others, and you’ll find him apologizing on his own rather than asking or forcing him to apologize.
Make him choose the method of punishment
Have your child choose a method of punishment depending on what he did, between forbidding him to play with the iPad or doing some housework. When you punish your child, he will feel frustrated and may feel resentful and angry towards you, but if you explain the consequences of his actions, he will be able to understand.
If case things are broken or damaged
Ask your child to fix what he did in the case of a “breaking” of something so that he learns to take responsibility.
Ignoring
It is one of the effective ways with young children. If the child does not stop crying for something, ignoring his crying, and not asking him to stop until he is silent will make him feel indifferent to his wrong behavior, and when he calms down, you must tell him you are not satisfied with his crying and screaming.
